BDSM: Overview, Practices, Consent, History, and Safety

BDSM is a collective term for certain types of sexual behavior and experience. Under the term unite different subcultures, some of which use very different terms and their own "language". All variants of BDSM have in common that the participants voluntarily give themselves out of their equality into a changed power structure. The submissive partner gives up a certain part of his autonomy and leaves it to the dominant partner (power exchange).

Code of Conduct

Voluntariness as a decisive criterion applies in principle to all sexual acts. In order to ensure consensuality between the participants in potentially risky activities and thus to clearly demarcate the practices used from punishable sexual violence, there are widely accepted rules of conduct in the BDSM scene. Consensuality between participants demarcates BDSM both legally and ethically from offenses or crimes against sexual self-determination and from violence and abuse. Accordingly, consent to a sadomasochistic event can only be given by those who can sufficiently assess the consequences of their consent. In general, it must be possible to revoke consent at any time, for example with a previously agreed signal word, a so-called safeword.

Since the 1990s, these basic principles have been summarized under the English term safe, sane and consensual (SSC). This means something like "safe, sane and consensual". Some followers of BDSM prefer a slightly different code of conduct with the English designation RACK (risk-aware consensual kink), which means something like "risk-conscious, consensual sexual action"; they want to emphasize more strongly the risk potential-related personal responsibility of the partners involved.

Despite the extensive conventions around safety, violations also occur in the BDSM realm. A 2015 study of 4598 people by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom found that 29% of respondents had experienced a violation of the agreed-upon framework in the context of BDSM. 8.9% of respondents had been orally, anally, or vaginally penetrated without their consent (12.5% women, 3% men, 10.6% queer, and 8.7% transgender). Only 29 people reported these incidents, although 96 of them had suffered an injury that required medical attention.

Widely used role models

Top and bottom

In BDSM, the partner is called Top or Dom, who has the active role in a BDSM act usually characterized by the exercise of pain, humiliation or submission. The partner called Bottom or Sub voluntarily exposes himself to such acts for a certain period of time and is the so-called passive part. Often the bottom is the one who essentially determines the act, for example by setting boundaries and taboos. This framework is generally determined by extensive communication in advance of the actual act, during which safety-relevant aspects such as safeword, health restrictions, etc. are also discussed.

Switch

Some BDSM devotees switch, meaning they take on both the dominant and submissive roles. They either practice this within a single act or take on these different roles in different sessions with the same or different partners.

Sync and corrections by n17t01

BDSM acts usually take place during a fixed period of time in the form of erotic role play; a single BDSM game is called a session. Many of the practices performed within BDSM, such as inflicting pain, humiliation or submission, would be considered unpleasant without the connection to the specific sexual preference. Sexual intercourse such as oral, vaginal or even anal intercourse may occur within a session, but is not essential.

In addition to the general recommendations for safe sex, BDSM sessions usually require more extensive safety measures than so-called "vanilla sex", i.e. sex without BDSM elements. To ensure that the acts always remain within the framework desired by the participants, a number of safety conventions have been established in the BDSM scene. This dogma of safety is explained by the fact that BDSMers try to free themselves from the inherent connotation of sex and violence. They thus oppose the insinuation that BDSM is fundamentally dangerous, pathological and abusive.

In order to ensure the consensuality of the practices, it is generally advised - especially between unknown partners - to have an intensive preliminary discussion about the wishes of the participants and the course and limits of the planned activities. Corresponding detailed discussions are generally common, usually becoming increasingly informal in the course of a relationship. In addition, a safeword is usually also agreed upon, at the mention of which the action must be immediately stopped at any time. For real meetings of virtually initiated contacts, some BDSM organizations and websites provide cover options that serve as protection during blind dates.

The wide range of different BDSM "toys" as well as applied physical and psychological manipulation and control techniques often requires detailed knowledge from different fields such as anatomy, physics or psychology. Practical safety aspects are generally of crucial importance. Many of the techniques used cannot be applied intuitively and require not only knowledge but also practice and guidance. This can be achieved, for example, in special workshops or through the guidance of experienced BDSM practitioners. In a 2009 study, 85% of the 1405 practicing BDSMers surveyed (mostly US-Americans) stated that they had a mentor and had exchanged both practical and theoretical knowledge with him.

The aftercare of the bottom is also located in the area of safety. After a session, due to the release of opioid peptides, especially endorphins during intense experience, it is quite possible that the bottom needs a few minutes or even hours to be able to fully perceive his physical needs again. During this period of recovery, it is considered the Top's duty to take care of the Bottom and respond accordingly. This also applies to sessions that are interrupted because the bottom feels mentally or physically overwhelmed (so-called crash).