Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a coping strategy to be able to mentally accept an actual or assumed wrongdoing of others without expecting any reaction from the other (such as an admission of guilt, remorse, apology) or demanding justice (retribution, prosecution). The term forgiveness is often used synonymously, although this expression refers more to the state of mind of the perpetrator (asking for forgiveness), while forgiveness, on the other hand, refers solely to the intrinsic motivation of the "injured party".

Forgiveness requires a high degree of emotional intelligence, for the forgiver must be able to put himself in the other person's place as well as be aware of his own emotions. The understanding acceptance of a possible error, lack of prudence, blind obedience or immoral behaviour must not, however, be interpreted as consent to the deed. Instead, it is an understanding of the person as such, regardless of his mistakes.

There is no universally accepted definition. Undisputed elements of forgiveness are that a person sees someone as responsible for harmful behavior and at the same time freely and uncoerced resigns from all accusations and claims. Controversial elements include whether the repentance of the person considered responsible is necessary for forgiveness, whether forgiveness necessarily refers to guilt, and whether emotional changes are a constitutive part of forgiveness processes.

About the term 'forgiveness

Uses

The word 'forgiveness', apart from everyday language, is currently used mainly in religious and therapeutic contexts. What is meant by forgiveness is discussed in philosophy, psychology, religious studies and theology. Because of the positive effects attributed to it, forgiveness is also a frequent topic of popular advice culture. Forgiveness is thematized as a possible reaction in view of very different actions, e.g.

• intentionally offensive remarks
• deliberate foul
• ingrained behaviour among friends (unpunctuality, lack of discipline, unfriendliness)
• Mobbing
• domestic violence
• serious crimes
• War Crimes
• crimes against humanity
• Dealing with the guilt of the other side in a conflict that has lasted for generations
• Genocide

It is debatable whether in all these cases forgiveness is a possible or meaningful response, or whether certain wrongdoing cannot or should not be forgiven.

Differentiation from other action patterns

The one who forgives a wrongdoing remembers it if it is past behavior, or consciously takes note of it if it is present behavior. He does not consider the misconduct negligible and insignificant, he is not ready to accept it tacitly, and sees no reasons that excuse the behavior.

Forgiveness is not possible if misconduct is responded to with

• Forbearance (which recognizes misconduct but judges it to be not significant).
• apologetic forgiveness (which mitigates or negates responsibility for non-negligible misconduct due to certain circumstances)
• acquiescence (which continues to silently accept misconduct without objection or resistance and thus de facto accepts it)
• Ignore (when someone consciously or unconsciously refuses to take note of the misconduct).
• Forgetting (when the memory of the harmful behavior is no longer present).

is responded to.

Forgiveness must also not be equated with reconciliation, which aims at the fact that in a relationship both parties have become guilty, have forgiven each other and now strive together for a common future unburdened by all mutual injuries.

Forgiveness is also different from pardoning an offender based on the power of clemency. The Federal President can pronounce a pardon regardless of whether he has personally forgiven the person or not. And conversely, he can forgive a person personally without therefore deeming it right to pardon him.

Forgiveness in the religions

Forgiveness is of particular importance in various religions for the relationships between God/gods/higher beings and humans. It also often has a prominent place in interpersonal relationships. The use of the word 'forgiveness' in religious contexts is not uniform, but shows different, sometimes even within one religion contradictory understandings.

Abrahamic religions

Forgiveness is regarded in Judaism, Christianity and Islam as an outstanding characteristic of the one God (monotheism). Great importance is attached to the positive significance of God's forgiveness for the life of believers and their relationship with God and with each other. In all three religions forgiveness is a basic element of anthropology: The fact that God forgives people is fundamental for the relationship between people and God. For the self-understanding of believers, as it is documented in the Holy Scriptures, the experience that God has forgiven them is elementary and indispensable. It follows from this in all three religions that forgiveness is of central importance for the behaviour of believers towards each other and towards other people. Someone who forgives acts in accordance with the revealed nature, will and action of God. The importance of forgiveness as an attribute and will of God is obviously in great tension with other statements that speak of the wrath of God, his vengeance and retribution, and with the limits of interpersonal forgiveness visible in all three religions. The idea, important for some people, that one can also forgive oneself is not part of the statements about forgiveness in the Holy Scriptures of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Forgiveness is understood there exclusively as an event between different persons.

In all three religions, particularly since the Enlightenment - especially from the side of liberal theology ([Liberal Judaism], [Liberal Theology]) - there has been criticism of the fundamental importance of God's forgiveness for the relationship between God and man, among other things because the associated concept of [guilt] or [sin] is perceived as increasingly problematic. Attempts to formulate an understanding of God in which forgiveness has only a subordinate significance or no significance at all are numerous. The question why interpersonal forgiveness should have central importance when it is not central to the relationship between God and man is no longer answered in these conceptions with reference to the attributes of God and one's own experience of God's forgiveness, but with reference to other reasons, which often come from philosophy or psychology.

Christianity

Christianity teaches reconciliation between God and man in that God met man through Jesus Christ:

The Lord's Prayer contains the request for forgiveness:

The explanation that follows stresses the importance of forgiving others - making God's forgiveness conditional on it. When a person forgives others, he passes on what he has received from God and practices "gospel in miniature", because forgiveness among people also happens "by grace", without the other person having earned the forgiveness.

Jesus not only demanded forgiveness from his disciples, but also practiced it himself. He asked for forgiveness for his enemies in his last words at the cross:

Believers are to forgive one another:

The Jesuan ethic calls for an unlimited readiness to reconcile, that is, even when there is no response to a repeated offer of forgiveness.

According to Martin Luther, the forgiveness of sins is precisely the main task of the Church. Thus he wrote in the Large Catechism of 1529/30 in the third article of the second main section The Faith about the Holy Spirit:

Hinduism

Mahatma Gandhi suggested that a dependent person cannot forgive because he is acting in an unfree way. He also wrote: "Nonviolence is meaningless if it comes from a helpless creature. A mouse will hardly forgive a cat if it has to allow itself to be torn to pieces by it."

In the Mahabharata along with the Ramayana one of the great Hindu epics, forgiveness is considered the greatest virtue in book 3, chapter 29. It says: "Forgiveness is Brahma, truth, ascetic merit and its preservation, asceticism, holiness and the cohesion of the universe."

South Pacific Religions

A special form of forgiveness is Hoʻoponopono, a psycho-spiritual procedure of the traditional Hawaiians. Its application goes back well over eight hundred years. As a spiritual cleansing, Hoʻoponopono serves a correction of wrongdoing. Through discussion (up to confession), mutual repentance and forgiveness in a conciliatory, peaceful manner, conflict resolution (including absolution) is contributed to, thereby extending to the practiced love of enemies. Traditionally, the procedure, in which all persons involved in a problem were present (in spirit also the ancestors), was led by a kahuna (healing priest, similar to a shaman). The higher beings called upon to help were mainly nature spirits, but also a family spirit called 'aumakua.

Modern forms founded by Kahuna Morrnah Simeona can be performed alone. Since purification takes place under the auspices of the Creator, the aim is also to liberate man from the ignorance of his divine origin. In both traditional and modern forms of Hawaiian origin, mantras are not included.